When you see someone exercising leadership, or when you have experienced being led, you see someone using language to inspire and engage you to get cooperation and action. This use of language is a process called “languaging”.

PROFESSOR ALAN SIELER EXPLAINS LINGUISTIC ACTS

Accepting that language creates our reality

It’s an illusion to think that language is only words that describe what we experience as it impacts on us from the outside-in. We think in language, feel from those thoughts and act through the commitment we make in language. Consequently, we live in language and create our world from the thoughts that our language seeks to express.  In other words, we create our reality from the inside-out.  What’s “out there” is subject to our interpretations. But if we believe our reality comes from the outside-in, we are experiencing an illusion. For example, we can define marriage with words, but what it actually means to us is our own assessment and interpretation that comes through our own experience. We can “be” married, but only we know what “being” married is like.

CHALMERS BROTHERS EXPLAINS THE GENERATIVE NATURE OF LANGUAGE

What’s “out there” is subject to our interpretations. But if we believe our reality comes from the outside-in, we are experiencing an illusion. For example, we can define marriage with words, but what it actually means to us is our own assessment and interpretation that comes through our own experience. We can “be” married, but only we know what “being” married is like. It’s the same for leadership. We can “be” a leader by virtue of a position or a definition, but “being” a leader is who we are and cannot be separated from our life journey. That’s why effective leadership is a collection of well-formed human life practices.

Language creates the future

When you say, “I promise”, you are not representing a promise, your word brings forth that promise into the world. It is a way of speaking that creates something new that wasn’t there before and so doesn’t describe something already in the world. It is as though you say the word “tree”, and a physical tree falls out of your mouth. A promise suddenly exists where no promise existed before and creates a new future.

This is not just semantics as it has profound implications for the way we live and lead in the world. What’s more, it’s not what the word describes but what it means to us that matters. Leaders create the future through the way they use language. Master the power of active language and you create the future you want to see. It’s powerful stuff. Successful leaders know how to use language in this way. Observe the way they use a range of what John Searle called Speech Acts.

Using language to get action

Language becomes even more powerful when we know how to use it precisely and without shortcuts. When you give your word it is assessed and tested for its authenticity. Your reputation and the quality of your life can depend on it.

This might seem trite and obvious but think about it. Once those thoughts are given meaning with words you “see” new possible realities, that you can act out. When they come out of your mouth with integrity and authenticity others may want to act on because they connect with what you have declared. Careful use of language gets more predictable outcomes and better results. The following Speech (Linguistic) Acts show you how.

When you take leadership for your life you use the language of committed speaking and listening to create space for new possibilities to emerge, all of which you see as being available to you. Whatever the situation you are confident that you can make them happen. This is because you know how to use speech acts to create a new future in your own mind and that of others. They become your way of being and acting.

How do you use language to get what you want from other people?  

Using Different Types of Speech Acts

DECLARATIONS

This act of speech brings into the world a whole realm of possibilities into a previously empty space.This is the way you take leadership for yourself and others because you are effectively creating a new future or the prospect of a new reality that is more attractive than the ones generated in the past. Declarations bring something potentially new into ‘being’. It then takes action to realise it in the world. This requires a number of other Speech Acts which are outlined below.

With declarations, human beings can open up an entirely new way for the world, or any aspect of the world, to manifest itself. Animals can run and fetch balls, but only humans can know they are playing a game. Think of all the ball games that humans have brought into existence.

A declaration has more power when there is authority behind it, like the rule of law or someone who has the right to refuse you something. Declarations are only meaningful if they are acted on. So, you can declare to other members of the family that you want a cup of coffee. They may comply if they know it is in their best interests to do so. But this can be seen as a command, not a declaration.

As a leader, you are declaring what you stand for. It’s an expression of what you say and what you want others to believe you are about and what you can be counted on to do, whether that declaration it is made to one person or the whole world. Once new possibilities have been brought into being by your declaration, you are putting yourself out there by standing up for what that declaration means for the way you act. Others will then know what you are up for and can hold you accountable for.

Listen for declarations or commitments that when they hit you transform the way you appear to yourself in that you are touched, moved or inspired to consider new possible futures. What would be the promises, requests, invitations, or offers you would want to make to yourself and others?

How could you use declarations to reframe a context or change a mood?

COMMANDS

With authority comes the right to make certain commands or demands on others. You may think of commands as instructions that you cannot refuse. Of course, you can if you are prepared the take the consequences.

How do you respond when faced with commands that you feel you cannot challenge or negotiate?

COMMITMENTS

Having taken a stand for something, and people know you can be counted on, the next act is making a commitment. You are then putting yourself at risk of not realising the possibility you committed yourself to. But when you are the leader of your life you are more energised by the need to organised. Your commitment gives direction to your life that allows you to experience and fulfil what you are standing for and what you have declared is possible for you.

“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the “right stuff” to turn our dreams into reality.”  – James Womack

Commitments are linked to declarations and promises. A conversation to get clarity into what was agreed is needed to ensure that there is a mutual understanding of what result will deliver satisfaction and by when.

What goals have you set for yourself that you are committed to achieving?

PROMISES

Once you have created new possibilities through your declaration and made it clear what you are standing for and the commitments you are prepared to invest your reputation in, it will deliver a new future. How will you hold yourself accountable?

“Promising, like virtue, is about straightness and strength, about not deviating from the sworn-to direction to bend the world according to one’s will.”  – Robert Rowland Smith

This requires you to make promises. A promise is your word given to a person or to a group for a specific action or a specific result to be achieved by a specific time, and to an agreed standard. In other words, there is always a “what exactly”, “for whom” and “by when” aspect to promises.

Promising is a creative act that puts you at risk, and if you don’t experience being creative and taking a risk you have not really promised. This interpretation is profoundly important for leadership behaviour and achieving success as well as happiness in your life. Promises should be entered into with great care. The process starts with a request when we ask someone to take action to resolve a concern we have. Both requests and offers are ways in which we use conversation to coordinate actions with others. We get results through our ability to collaborate and make things happen for each other. If we want the future to be request or an offer.

Reflect on what happened to you when you had to break a promise?

REQUESTS

A request involves someone asking you to do something for them. When you agree, you have effectively made a promise and you will be held accountable for doing it. Even if it’s to make a cup of coffee, you are committing yourself to find the time and resources to fulfil that request as specified within an acceptable time scale. If you say it will take you five minutes, that’s what you have promised.

“An objection is not a rejection; it is simply a request for more information.”  – Bo Bennett

A request is not a command because you have the opportunity to decline, accept, make a counter-offer or negotiate. Making a request no casual matter as it can impact on the integrity of the person who accepts it – especially if they do not deliver. If they decline it may not be the end of the matter as the terms of the request can be negotiated.

There are a number of possible responses to a request. It can be accepted in which case you have a promise. There could be a counter-offer or a commitment made to commit later, both of which have to be accepted before a promise is made.

When have you not asked for something and then regretted it?

INVITATIONS

An invitation should not be confused with a request. With an invitation, there is no commitment, only an opportunity. An invitation can be declined without having to give an explanation, although you may do so out of courtesy. In a work situation, leaders often use invitations to see how engaged people are with the possibility of supporting but not willing to take on as a personal responsibility – well not yet anyway. A critical conversation to master in fulfilling your leadership potential in life is to enrol others in support of a shared vision. And the phenomenon of enrolment lives in inviting.

“The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving any excuse.”  -Jules Renard

How do you feel when you casually invited someone and they don’t turn up?

OFFERS

People offer to make promises to others. Why would you want to put your reputation and integrity at risk offering to do something you were not asked to do? But then how do you build trust, reputation and integrity if you don’t put yourself out there and take a chance? It’s usually because you want to demonstrate your commitment to do what you believe to be important in creating a better future. There is usually a purpose, something you want to communicate or demonstrate to yourself and others that you have the potential to strengthen the relationship to prove your trustworthiness.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  – Wayne Gretzky

If you were to change what you had to offer others, how might your life be different?

APOLOGISING

Sometimes it is necessary to go back on your word to keep your integrity. As soon as you become aware that you will not be able to keep your word, on some aspect of your promise such as the possibility of missing the deadline, then you need to apologise to everyone impacted as soon as possible. Being open and clear about this is vitally important if the failure to deliver is not to fracture the relationship and result in a loss of trust.

“When you apologise, be clear about what you are apologising for and never end it with ‘but’.”  – Eileen Mulligan

You should make it clear that you will:

• not be able to keep your word on this occasion

• apologise for your failure to deliver as promised

• seek to make a new promise that you believe you can stick to

• deal with the impact on others of your failure to come through.

Reflect on a time when having to apologise was a call to action and change?

ASSERTIONS

When you make an assertion you are willing to be held accountable to others for your statement of what you consider to be true and have the potential to be verified. They are associated with what is being observed out there, not with the person making the statement. These are commonly regarded as the facts drawn from the past and the present. They describe what is true or false and can be independently verified or publicly accepted. They belong to the ‘thing’ being observed – not the observer. Also, it should not be confused with “truth” which is a personal assessment. Make lots of false assertions and you could create a public identity for yourself as a liar.

“An assertion is a grounded assessment as it sets the context for consideration, negotiation and commitment. It’s the commitment that then produces the action.”  Peter Denning

When interpreting what is an assertion it can lead you to question predictions that are presented as pending assertions. We should not accept at face value what others present as facts that cannot be easily verified. How much of what you hear on the news do you accept as true assertions? This means that all possibilities are pending assertions until they are realised. Plans, goals and targets all fall under this category, even if they have produced results in the past.

Leaders use assertions because they are seeking to establish a shared understanding of reality. That’s why you focus on being an instinctive and intuitive leader. This requires considerable discipline and supreme concentration. Displays of high emotion have to be controlled. The level of energy needed has to be maintained to the end of the performance. Thinking about what has happened is about directing your attention on what you can measure, even though you know it may not be the most important contributor to success. It does however enable us to coordinate your action and have productive conversations.

What standards do you apply when making or judging assertions?

ASSESSMENTS

Conversations are littered with personal judgements, perceptions and opinions that cannot be easily verified. They reflect the world of the person making the observations, not the things out there that are being observed. They can be predictors of likely future action by that person as they reflect how they see the world. However, assessments can be “grounded” as having specific criteria linked to an observable behaviour.

“When we make assessments we are judging, evaluating and forming opinions. We are declaring how the world is for us.”  – Professor Alan Sieler

Leaders tend to steer away from too many uninformed assessments in purposeful conversations. This is because the assessments made about us by others can limit our possibilities for going into the future. Who we give permission to assess us in different areas of our lives can impact on our reputation. After all, we tend to judge others on what we observe in their behaviour, not their intentions.

Different opinions can cause arguments, but their diversity reflects the different perspectives of reality that can be creative and valuable in finding new possibilities for action. Leaders will encourage creative conversations that help to give meaning to the assessments we have of other people’s assertions. This is not to deny that many interpretations will be shared and turn out to be verified as true. An assessment then becomes an assertion.

Who do you give permission to in your different roles to assess you?

BREAKDOWNS

Life is cluttered with problems that disrupt the normal flow of being and doing. Problems are linked to a psychological context. Breakdowns are seen in an ontological context where what happens just is. It is neither good nor bad. Problems are things we feel shouldn’t be happening. Breakdowns apply to situations where all you have to deal with is the fact that something you intended was thwarted.

Learning to accept breakdowns enables you to face facts, explore possibilities and embrace uncertainty. When you fail to see such breakdowns as mind created it can affect your self-talk, your mood state which can undermine your integrity and productivity. The brain likes to find reasons for things which then become self-justifying excuses. The result is unproductive thoughts and disempowering conversations.

“What’s a huge breakdown for one person passes totally unnoticed by someone else. Different observers come from different concerns and they observe from different distinctions.”  – Chalmers Brothers

Your non-acceptance of these breakdowns keeps you from being effective in dealing with all of what it is for you to do and be in life. As a consequence you do not fulfil your potential, your effectiveness is reduced and the same breakdowns keep happening which can severely affect your quality of life.

What is important is the way you use these linguistic acts. When an intention is thwarted you must declare a Breakdown and detach yourself emotionally and engage rationally. It removes the psychological context that you or someone else is to blame. You work with the intention, not the result. Ask yourself “What is the intention that was thwarted?” and “What happened to thwart that intention?” You can now consider what happened compared to what was intended. You can then see more clearly and relate more pragmatically to what happened differently, how to respond differently, and acts on it differently. Failure in human interaction is inevitable – just learn from it and move on. The past has gone. You only have the present moment in which to create the conditions for a new state of being and doing.

Overcoming your resistance to declaring and accepting breakdowns and dealing with them as soon as possible is what makes you a powerful leader of your own life. This is because only someone committed to a future can have breakdowns. The bigger your commitment is, the bigger you can expect your breakdowns to be. The quality of your commitment is related to the quality of your breakdowns. Over time your ability and strength to bring authenticity to your “stand” without invalidating the “stand” others are taking will enable you to grow.

References

Speech Acts by John Searle.  Cambridge University 1969

The Construction of Social Reality by John Searle. Penguin 1996

Language and the Pursuit of Happiness by Chalmers Brothers.  New Possibilities 2005