LIFE LEADERSHIP DIGEST – Article by Steve Trivett – 21/1/2018

Writers, artists, musicians and actors talk about being led from within. The insights, inspiration and intentions that arrive in their mind were not thought of in any conscious or structured way. It seems that a calm, peaceful mind can be induced by meditation. You should find that, with practice, meditation or focused observation will produce a state of inner “listening”. The resonating thoughts appear as insights, realisations or inspirational thoughts – as if from nowhere.

You will no doubt have experience of trying to think of solutions to intractable problems and fail to see the possible consequences. In complex situations, it’s less about finding solutions as considering the longer-term implications with all interested parties. Whether positive or negative it is about what the different results could mean for relationships and impacts on the bigger system.

 This happens when you are trying to remember where you left your keys. When you are relaxed the answer comes mysteriously into your mind without any prompting. What was stuck in your subconscious seems to be released when you make yourself available to receive it. But what would it mean if you didn’t find your keys? How would other people be affected? Your unconscious mind is able to able to create something from nothing when you are present at the moment. It won’t happen if you are anxious about what might happen if you don’t because your brain is continuously working to predict and produce the next thought.

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”  – Henry David Thoreau

We often ask ourselves questions, but then fail to pause long enough for our unconscious mind to give a considered answer. Acting on automatic pilot, a story gets produced by the mind that selects a habitual thought to work with, drawn from past experiences, the current situation and current concerns. For example, Ontological Coaches respond to questions by entering a “listening field” as an optimal way of discovering and then exploring evidence merging around real concerns, not necessarily the ones that are first presented. The skill is to empty the mind of any preconceptions, to sense and observe signs of unease as a shift in mood or body posture and how this is reflected in the language used.

These subtle changes reveal the subconscious concerns that can fail to reach the surface as conscious observations. I’ll wager you seldom spend time worrying about the things that really worry you. They just remain as concerns until the flow of life breaks down and you are forced to pay attention to them.

You may have had such experiences when observing a loved one denying that anything is wrong. But you sense it. You look for the signs and reactions. No words are spoken. You are just listening and being intuitive and empathetic.

Leaving space for something to happen

Being able to listen more deeply to what you feel you are sensing is one we intuitively have, yet can fail to notice in the feelings and messages you are getting from your whole body – not just in our mind. You might sense a blockage, a tightening or numbness that is telling you something about your insecurities.

Locating the sensation in your body and breathing or smiling into it, can, with practice, energise you as the tightness disappears.  You can also experience this sensation when someone smiles at you and your smile in return. The energy from the experience can lift you for a whole day.

Notice how good a forger or an artist you can be when you copy something upside-down. A similar thing happens in a conversation when you pay attention to the spaces between the words and observe the impact it is having on you. For example, silence can be a powerful communicator. You are actually creating insight from nothing. Watch Barrack Obama as he makes a speech. Notice how his body posture reflects a mood state and enhances the impact of the words he uses. Most of us can sense even the smallest of incongruence between language, mood and body posture as it makes us suspicious and to question that person’s integrity.

There will be times when you want to react immediately to something you believe is true but unacceptable to you. How often have you regretted sending that email or shouting down someone who just has an opinion? Often it is better to leave space and pause in case something unexpected happens that enables you to review your assumptions and save face.

Yet again something helpful can happen by doing nothing immediately and then pausing to reflect on alternative interpretations. Effective leaders know how important it is to listen to different perspectives and reflect on the bigger picture before making pronouncements. Leaders are simulating or imagining what different possibilities could look and feel like. Sometimes it’s a gut feeling, other times straightforward logic.

It might seem strange to spend time experiencing and appreciating your own body, but I encourage you to observe the subtle changes and link them with different experiences. You then have a source of prediction. You may feel sensations in your gut are linked to feelings of resentment that have arisen from a criticism. You deal with this by using positive language, adopting an upright body posture and adopting a mood of gratitude for the insight. When you smile, notice how those negative emotions slip away.  It comes from nothing but your body’s innate capacity to produce a state of peace and relaxation.

As you sit quietly at the end of a hectic day to relax, notice any spasms in the muscles, numbness in your limbs, the tension in your neck and shoulders, dryness of the eyes or a bitter taste in the mouth.  All are signs that you are putting a strain on your liver as the result of anger and frustration hidden in a body/mind relationship. 

NB: Notice what happens when you appreciate what your body does for you and breathe into the sensations you experience. Your liver, for example, plays a central role in all metabolic processes in the body. Liver cells break down fats and produce energy that affects mood.