Making Difficult Choices

LIFE LEADERSHIP DIGEST – Article by Steve Trivett – 23/08/2019

You may not have heard about “loss aversion bias”.  It’s that sensation you get when you feel you are missing out on something important and feel bad about it. You may experience this when you make a purchase and remain unsure that you are getting value for money. Advertisers use this bias to convince you that a choice has to be made now or you will miss out on a bargain. But will the impulse deliver a gain or loss?

How would feel if the next day it is cheaper somewhere else?

• Is it a risk you are prepared to take given what the loss could mean to you?
• How do you judge the joy of satisfaction against the pain of loss?
• It’s a bargain compared to what, when and in whose opinion?

When applied to behaviour change strategies, it can explain to what extent you adopt an optimistic or a pessimistic mood state and reflect it in the positive and negative language you use. You may be motivated to commit and be held accountable for the consequences, or motivated not to commit because you fear the consequences.

Attending to what matters

To be impartial it is necessary only to use information that matters and removes bias or prejudice. This means appealing to reason, not emotions. This is difficult when being empathetic really matters to you.

In this website, as in life generally, you are faced with having to compromise on practices that you want to deliver to a high standard. Things get worse if what really matters to you doesn’t get done. For example, deciding which Life Leadership Practice matters most to you and how to find the time, effort and resources needed to master it.

This type of dilemma can be the source of stress and breakdown if not assessed quickly. It means overcoming your fear of losing something that does not serve your deepest intentions. Threats to your identity can trigger an unexpected response, making you defensive as you avoid a rational choice.

When that happens we become dysfunctional. What we experience as the normal flow of our life is reflected in our model of reality or worldview. This is disrupted when different behaviours are triggered in specific situations. 

What have you done recently that you immediately regretted, despite having have made the same mistake before? Perhaps your “weren’t thinking” and failed to observe the cues that could have alerted you to responding differently?

In this video, Dan Gilbert explains why it is so difficult for us to do the right thing when having to assess the likely gain or loss from our choices. It’s easier just to choose what you have always done than pause to consider its value it could give you in the future. Context is all-important.

What could you gain in the future if you were to carve out half an hour each day for a fortnight to invest in observing your choices and the thinking behind them?  Start each day with a commitment to identify the “cues” that triggered negative feelings and your reactions. What value would you gain from making a better decision in those moments?

Make an assessment of how the value of chunking your learning to embody one effective leader behaviour a fortnight could enhance your self-confidence, career prospects, sense of wellbeing and the quality of your relationships.  Don’t let yourself be distracted by tasks that won’t deliver as much value. You could invite two of your colleagues to join you in pursuing the same goal when you have personal knowledge of what it takes to deliver on a promise. 

Review where you are after month or two. What have you stopped doing that was clearly a waste of time and what impact are the behaviours having on your performance?