Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough

LIFE LEADERSHIP DIGEST – Article by Steve Trivett

Breakdowns happen when you’re not thinking clearly, events disrupt your expectations, your values are threatened or your identity is challenged. They can also be seen as triggers for learning and improvement if your emotional triggers do not blind you to the thoughts that are driving your habitual reactions. 

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”. — Viktor E. Frankl

The closer you are to the trigger event, the more clarity you will have as you reflect on what was the moment of choice. You can then see how you could have behaved differently to produce a better outcome. Find out how you could rewrite the script and avoid the same breakdown happening again. Or you could stop yourself in the space that is the moment you ask yourself  “Is what I am doing worth it?”Your understanding of these processes will expand your ability to make new distinctions, to reason, imagine and consider alternatives that were previously “blind” to you. What was the cue for the breakdown?

• Something you said was taken the wrong way?
• A resentful mood made you feel angry or anxious?
• Your felt tense and let down because you didn’t get what you expected?
• A promise not honoured that caused you embarrassment? 

Based on the work of David Drake

When the movie of an event is replayed, frame-by-frame, you will see what you did to trigger a reaction that you had to take responsibility for. Next time you will be more aware and see it was how you responded, not what someone else did or said. This enables you to produce, direct and script a new life movie for those events, as long as you reflect when the details are fresh in your mind.

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.”  – James Joyce

The paradox is that you learn from failure. These “breakdowns” enable you to succeed better in future. The challenge is overcoming the emotions associated with failures, such as shame, hurt or humiliation. What enables you to breakthrough is to radiate positivity in your word, mood and body posture. It’s a habit worth practising. You don’t have to have all the answers, just believe that it’s better to face facts head-on.

Take some time to reflect on why you now believe that what you did was wrong. Do you now see a pattern in how this error or mistake keeps happening that suggests a root cause? What do you need to do and when to trigger a better response and the negative implications?

Listen to Judson Brewer as he explains how you can find the “cue” that triggers an unwanted behaviour by paying attention to any feelings of tightness, tension or restlessness your body. This is how you turn a “breakdown” to a “breakthrough” at the moment of concern.

Reflect on a concern that is bothering you at the moment because you didn’t get the result you wanted. Use the framework below to rewind the movie of events and find the cue that triggered your negative response.

How could you have “seen” it differently by changing your thinking, feelings or actions? For example, how do you react when someone cuts in dangerously when your driving? 

Along the way, reflect on the progress you are making.

• Are you clear about what thoughts and actions aren’t working for you?
• Are you sabotaging your interpretation with contaminated thinking?
• Are you feeling a sense of accomplishment from a positive reaction?
• How will you use daily practices to address other concerns?
• How could these new practices help you to coach or lead your team better?