We do not see the world the same way as others. As ” human observers,” we interpret what we experience through the filter of our mental maps, value judgements and beliefs. It shapes what we notice and respond to.
What is your observer?
Astrologers “see” the stars differently to astronomers. They interpret what they observe differently. Our ancestors did not “see” the world that we “see” today, or the world our children will “see” tomorrow. When we see through our “eyes” as a fully conscious observer, we become more aware of how we have become who we are. Being different observations we have our own “truth” about the “reality” that determines how we behave.
Diagram courtesy of the Human Systems Dynamics Institute
Julio Olalla explains how the distinctions we make determines our truth and worldview. This influences the actions we choose and the results we then get.
If you don’t like the results you get, then don’t just react to the feedback by holding on to old habits and assumptions. Question the logic in your thinking. Notice the way you are justifying your assessments, not just what you think but why those thoughts are important to you.
Your Way of Being is the combined effect of the language, emotions, moods and body movements. They are shaped by your cultural background and personal history. They produce the observer that you are, and which results are important to you as you get feedback on which actions are delivering what matters.
Think of it this way. The result is what we get because of the actions you take. But the actions we choose depend on the observer that you are. How you take care of what you care about delvers the results that you want.
If we want better results, we must learn how to pay attention to what is happening around us and what we are feeling within us. This is about becoming a more skilled and powerful observer of how you lead your life.
“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice; and, because if we fail to notice what we fail to notice there’s little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice changes our thoughts and deeds.” R D Laing
To be a more powerful observer you seek to observe your world from four perspectives. These are the thinking or possibility spaces identified by Ken Wilber. They help you notice and focus on where the energy comes from to produce your experience.
They focus on observing yourself, the “I” (subjective inside-out driven perspectives). Then there is the “WE” (subjective bottom-up driven perspective). There also observations of your context, the “IT” (objective top-down driven perspective) and external constraints, the “IT’S” (objective outside-in driven perspective). This gives you more options as you notice more and look to interpret the wholeness and fragmentaed nature of your world from different perspectives.
The diagram below shows how the categories relate to the Life Leadership approach in more detail. It seeks to give direction to your speaking, feeling and being in the world.
So, what does it mean?
“We see the world not as it is, but as we are” – Anais Nin
Change comes from seeing in new ways. If unaware, we will never understand ourselves or fully connect with other human beings. Learning how to see how we see lies at the core of our learning and awareness. This is how we make new distinctions that serve us better. The diagram below summarises the work of Professor Alan Sieler at the Ontological Coaching Institute.
To get what this means we must know who we authentically are, and how we are interpreting what we see and don’t see. It’s how we give meaning to what we see, and question what we cannot see, that makes us powerful observers. It’s more than just describing what “IT” is. We are unique interpreters of what we sense in each moment. Our emotions and mood are crucial in determining the language we use and how we choose to relate to people and things.
What’s more. even when others try to tell us their story and give us their interpretations, we still must reframe our assessments to make sense of it from our own experiences. For example, if someone tells us they are feeling anxious, we feel it from our own experience and picture ourselves in an emotional state that describes our felt senses It’s the conversation we have with ourselves that helps us “ground” the feelings so we can at least understand, even if we do not agree with their conclusion.
What next?
The value of other people’s interpretations is that they can open our minds and help us question or suspend our long-held beliefs and habits. We may find alternative actions and ways of seeing things to get a better result. This is often referred to as “Double-Loop Learning. The diagram below explains how exploring different beliefs can stimulate thinking about different actions that could deliver better result.
You don’t have to believe in a different point of view to test it for yourself. Adopt and practice a new action to see if the result works better for you. Just act as if it were true – here and now. You may surprise yourself.
Find a quiet place and reflect.
Choose a concern, need, or problem you have that has not yet been resolved. Imagine yourself standing in different perceptual positions. How would your boss, friend, subordinate, child, parent, judge, etc., see it?
Don’t just observe yourself experiencing when you have the concern, try to figure out what needs and beliefs are operating when you make your assessment.
Are you seeing a better result? Can you see new actions to achieve it?
If not, consider some alternative beliefs by reading a book, watching a TED Talk, looking at old family photographs, etc., to stimulate some ideas and experiences. You may remember an occasion in the past when you resolved this concern.
Now see what happens. Did you improve on or resolve your concern? Repeat the 5 steps if necessary.
