REGENERATING WORDS AND IMPACT
This is the process of languaging. Using different types of conversations to get commitments and achieve breakthrough results.
This requires an ability to express our thoughts clearly and listen consciously to give helpful or challenging feedback. The biggest issues are often the result of ineffective communication. We think, because we see things clearly, others do. But we all think differently and interpret the same words differently when our mind is distracted and attention drifts. We respond with different attitudes and emotions shaped by our personal history and culture.
We make assumptions when our internal questions are not answered. What is meant? What led to that conclusion? What circumstances does it apply to? What exactly is being suggested?
It helps to make better assessments when agreeing priorities, making promises and coordinating action. What is unique about human beings is that they can coordinate a vast number of complicated and paradoxical actions. But there needs to be dialogue to get at specifics, check out assumptions and be clear to get some mutual understanding.
Listening is probably the most difficult skill to master. We don’t just listen with our ears. What we hear is coloured by our mood, emotional reactions and level of empathy. We may feel w are being judged or our integrity questioned. Much depends on what we are listening for. The listener may come to the conversation with a different purpose than the speaker. This requires clarity on both sides.
It’s how we use language to find common meaning that makes this possible. We use language to make even more detailed distinctions and declare future actions. It offers us endless possibilities and opportunities to generate new worlds of knowledge and innovative thinking. It is one of our most powerful reality makers when it’s carefully crafted..
WHAT IS LANGUAGE?
Language brings our world into existence. It plays a critical role in the development of human consciousness and culture. Our observer has the task of describing what is verifiably true in the external world and match it with what makes sense when interpreted in the light of personal experience to conclude what is perceived to be true in our internal world.
It consists of listening and speaking which influences the way we think and is fundamental in shaping how we get things done and our vision for how to make the world a better place. Languaging is the process we use to have an impact on the world because it generates action, meaning and purpose for our very existence. It’s more than a description of the things we experience, it enables us to have an impact on the world.
The Mirror Neurons in the brain form the basis for social behaviour, our ability to imitate, acquire language, and show empathy and understanding. They also play a role in the evolution of speech. Mirror neurons are so named because the same neurons are fired up when we think about taking action and observing others when they take action. We learn a lot from copying others, it helps us make distinctions to fine-tune our language to give meaning to what we see and feel. For example, a mechanic will hear more than just a noise from an engine because the sound is linked to a specific mechanical problem that they have seen and heard before.
Our inner world is referenced against what is best for us to protect our identity, intentions, purposes and concerns. Our outer world involves in gathering knowledge, thinking, reasoning and determining facts. The mind seeks to make sense of relationships, context and connections.
Leading cognitive biologist Humberto Maturana observed language as a biological phenomenon, simply because it requires the nervous system as well as the rest of our physiology (larynx, facial expression, muscle movement, etc.) to reproduce in the body what words mean.
The nervous system is important as it enables us to be at one with our environment and ‘connect’ with each other in mutually beneficial ways. Otherwise, our gestures and body language would be meaningless to each other. It is the sharing of meaning and emotions that we attach to the sounds we make, which enables us to create mutual understanding, shared intentions and coordinated action.
A NEW PARADIGM FOR LANGUAGE
Language is more than words or definitions. The simple act of declaring our acceptance of an offer or a request opens up new possibilities for action and achievement in the future. Conversation exists to facilitate human connection and organisation through what Maturana calls “structural coupling”. It’s the nervous system’s way of creating a social environment or connecting with its external environment. Recurring interactions get triggered and eventually become habitual. For example, the use of language, symbolic actions and rules for interaction in given contexts.
“Fundamentally, the critical difference between leaders and others is the way leaders create a reality in their speaking; the way leaders speak.” – Tony Zampella
Consequently, we dream, love, suffer, decide, achieve and live in language. It enables us to know who we are, what we need and how to take action with others to satisfy our interests. Language effectively creates our reality and brings new ways of being into existence. Different conversations lead to different moods, actions and outcomes. We create what we speak. For example, we are not married until it’s declared by us by saying “I DO” in front of witnesses.
“Your word is the power that you have to create. Through the word, you express your creative power. It is through your words that you manifest everything. Regardless of what language you speak, your intent manifests through the word. The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is force; it is the power you have to create the events in your life.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
Effective leaders can observe themselves talking to themselves and become more self-aware, self-monitoring, self-responsible and self-directed as a result. We are often self-referential too. We talk about ourselves as if we are another person. For example, Steve would say, “Steve doesn’t do that.”
We can picture ourselves from an outside-in perspective, or what a movie director would say to an actor. They see themselves living a life story, a movie of their own creation. Our actions are a reflection of how we choose to see ourselves. Our authenticity comes from our whole Way of Being. It’s an expression of our values, where our integrity is embodied in the language we use, the emotions we display and the actions we adopt.
Who we are is “structurally determined” by the patterns of interaction and organisational structures. This creates a system’s identity, which can be determined by personal characteristics and behaviour and environmental structures, such as totalitarian or democratic cultures. Each place has different conditions for interactions such as free speech. It is crucial to our ability to learn and thrive in any social unit or cultural context.
The Spiral Dynamics Model of human development expresses these distinctions which are based on socially acceptable values and motivated by desired outcomes (or the avoidance of pain). The distinctions we make can be based on our values and knowledge we adopt different types of consensual behaviour.
“Language has the concreteness of doing things, it is the coordination of doings which take place in the flow of conversations, which is why I have transformed it into a verb: languaging.” – Humberto Maturana
Consequently, we use language to bring new worlds into being, worlds of shared understandings, possibilities and actions. The process of languaging enhances the flow and commonsense so that:
It enables us to live with others and cooperate to get results
It generates reality through the act of declaring new distinctions
It helps us to speak and listen with more care to secure cooperation
LANGUAGE AND CONTEXT
Context does not have to be a physical space of course. It is often created in a relationship or in the commitments we make to ourselves and others. It is the background against which we assess our actions as being authentic and appropriate to the situation we find ourselves in. It gives meaning and authority to what we say. Children will usually accept the decisions of a parent, teacher, police officer or someone in authority. It is how meaning is given to the events and circumstances we encounter.
Establishing rapport can make all the difference. It creates a moment-to-moment experience of feeling connected and understood, inspire of differences. Eye contact and facial expressions can matter more than words. Prejudices cannot be hidden. Trust has to be earned and maintained, especially in formal negotiations. Effective leaders can use their warm presence and caring rapport to influence others without the authority of their position. Humility helps a lot.
It all happens in language, that is shaped by our cultural context. We learn how to connect context with results by copying and practising. Negotiations with a marriage partner, therefore, will be different from negotiations in a business relationship. If our personal context is shaped by a given set of values and beliefs then to be seen to have integrity they must be reflected in the way we naturally behave, particularly in challenging circumstances.
To use language to create a new future we use offers or requests to get commitments from others towards a shared venture with a mutual interest. This creates promises from which satisfactory outcomes take the status quo or default relationship in a new direction.
Before we start a conversation, and if it is important to consider:
Will the other person listen?
Is it a good time to start the conversation?
Is it the right place?
Are they interested in the topic at hand?
And above all to understand our intentions when we are speaking and listening.
