We relate to each other through networks of conversation and commitment. We make and manage promises with each other by making offers and making requests.

PRACTICES

1.  Take a moment to reflect on an area of your life or your work that you would like to be different. As you imagine a better future see it as a movie. Where, when and with whom are you doing that is different?  Step in and describe what you are experiencing.

• What does it look and sound like, and how does it feel for you?

• What is happening that is making the situation better?

• Who is working with you to make this change happen?

• How are the conversations and relationships different?

• What aspects of your own Way of Being have shifted to facilitate the changes you see?

2. How would you describe the way your work organisation coordinates action? How are request and promises being used and what for do they take?

• What is making them work well or poorly?

• Why are commitments being missed or misunderstood?

• Is it poor communication, low morale, bad attitudes or habits that is the root of the problem?

• What is the impact on results and productivity? Can it be quantified?

• How are employees/associates held accountable for their promises?

• Are some new types of agreement needed to focus conversations on action, morale, trust, and performance?

3.  When you reflect on the diagrams below, which components present the most issues for you or your organisation?

• Which areas do you do well and why?

• Which areas do you do poorly and why?

• What changes would you make to ensure your conversations shift the observers we are and quality of the commitments we make?

• What relationships and attitudes need to change to enable more open and honest conversations to take place?

Support Information

We relate to each other through networks of conversation and commitment. We make and manage promises with each other by making offers and making requests. You can explore these in more detail in Languaging Practices.  Promises are the way human beings explore possibilities for action and produce better outcomes. What is produced depends on what is cared about, because this reflects who we are and where we will apply our energy and our innate capacity to think, feel and act together. To do this we engage ourselves as different observers in different types of conversation to get results that matter to us.

So What does this mean?

When we have conversations for coordinating action we are engaged in the linguistic act of making requests, offers, and promises. They can help generate the results wanted by the Observer. Done well, or not so well, there is always a result, Most people’s reactions to poor results are to change the action.  But they have to be the right actions and this stems from what the observer wants.  This means changing the thinking that produced the actions that led to poor results.

The process of managing promises, or making declarations, and what it means to make requests and offers, are detailed in other practices. They are part of the bigger process designed to coordinate action to get the future to unfold in a predictable way.  

They can form a plan or be part of a project to deliver a mutually beneficial outcome. Leaders are the “observers” who can see the actions needed to get a specific result.  They must secure a shared understanding and get promises to act through networks of conversation that will coordinate the actions needed to get the desired result.

Making offers and requests are core practices for leaders who take responsibility and hold themselves accountable for what they deliver. These leaders have life skills as powerful observers capable of speaking and listening, having clarity of what are satisfactory standards and achievable timeframes. They can create a context that will generate high levels of commitment, motivation, positivity, and performance in themselves and in others. This is how leaders of organisations drive “excellence in execution”.

Now What?

Conversation lies at the heart of how things happen, their impact and the future that results from them. The diagram below outlines a framework for having conversations to get the action that produces value, trust and satisfaction. It starts with a problem. concern or “breakdown” that needs to be addressed. An assessment is made to identify who could help resolve the concern who you can trust. You then make a request and negotiate to get an agreement from the “performer” to deliver what is required. This requires a “grounded” assessment of the performer’s competence and reliability. The conversations need to get clarity on what is required when and to what standard, so that mechanisms for dissatisfaction are understood.

Diagram courtesy of Bob Dunham and Peter Denning.  ‘The Innovator’s Way’. 2010

The purpose of a conversation for action is to accomplish something that both/all parties care about. When even the simplest of things can have unpredictable consequences it is important to appreciate progress and achievements both individually and collectively. Small actions and milestones can be helpful in addressing concerns before they become breakdowns.

This can be difficult if others do not want to have conversations that expose their weaknesses and divert attention to areas where they feel confident. Sometimes a conversation is needed to plan a conversation about a difficult issue and explore possibilities for action.

Getting the mood right can be critical, and this can mean getting permission and a commitment to engage out of mutual respect and a desire to understand or maintain a good relationship. This may require some courage as your worst fears could be realised. But the status quo may not be sustainable either.

References

Coaching to the Human Soul Vol 1 by Alan Sieler.  Newfield, Australia 2003
Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence by Chalmers Brothers & Vinay Kumar.  New Possibilities 2015

The Innovator’s Way by Peter Denning and Bob Dunham. MIT 2010