Skip to main content

Leadership Conversations

LIFE LEADERSHIP DIGEST – Article by Steve Trivett – 23/08/2019

Achieving the objectives we set ourselves requires the effective coordination of human activity – communicating, connecting and collaborating.  This happens largely through conversation. Without it items cannot be purchased, decisions cannot be communicated and knowledge cannot be developed or exchanged. Conversations enable the energy and work of people in specialised roles to be channeled towards the desired result.

BOB DUNHAM EXPLAINS THE ROLE OF CONVERSATION

People need to know where their efforts fit into the bigger picture. As a consequence, any group of people seeking to organise themselves to deliver a goal can be seen as a network of coordinating and collaborating conversations. The quality and effectiveness of conversations hold the key to success and often the reason for failures, breakdowns and bottlenecks.

Conversations for Action

Leaders are paid to converse to produce results it is a core competence that needs consistent attention in the form of coaching to reduce the breakdowns in the flow of work caused by misunderstandings, ignorance and emotional outbursts. Leaders want everyone who works with them to be conversationally proficient. Language does not just describe what exists, it is a vehicle for getting action and improved performance. It involves:

  • Both speaking and listening
  • Listening being a generative, not a passive activity
  • Speaking that contains intonation and generates body language
  • Actions that cannot be removed from dominating moods and emotions

Taking care of concerns

People speak in order to take care of their concerns, or what matters to them at the time.  These are the thoughts that come to mind and demand attention in the present moment. They speak hoping that others will recognise their concerns so they can develop a shared meaning and secure support for a common understanding of what’s important. Obviously, we speak to be listened to.

A conversation cannot happen without a listener, even if it’s ourselves. Often we talk to ourselves but we are not always aware of what we are telling ourselves. With practice, we can see ourselves observing our thoughts, actions, and feelings. Speaking can contain actions that generate action. By speaking we can also be asking, for example when we make a request for someone to do something for us. Their involvement and cooperation are needed for leaders to

Questioning assumptions

Often we talk to ourselves but we are not always aware of what we are telling ourselves. With practice, we can observe ourselves observing our own thoughts, actions, and feelings. Speaking can contain actions that generate action. By speaking we can also be asking. For example, when we make a request for someone to do something for us we expect a no or a yes with conditions. Involvement and cooperation are needed for leaders to fulfil their role as coordinators and promoters of collaboration. Proficiency in making and managing requests is central to a leader’s effectiveness.

Often we talk to ourselves but we are not always aware of what we are really saying. With practice, we can observe our thoughts through careful assessment of the words, moods and body language we use. Speaking can contain declarations for actions that generate action. By speaking we can also be asking, for example when we make a request for someone to do something for us. Their involvement and cooperation are needed for leaders to fulfil their role. Proficiency in making and managing requests is central to leader effectiveness.

Making requests

For requests to produce action there needs to be an understanding of what exactly is being requested, and a commitment from the listener to engage in the requested action. This requires agreement, which when it happens has created a promise.  Listening is a critical skill in the process of agreeing to a request and securing an understanding of what is being agreed to. A cooperative activity requires a shared understanding of what was meant by what was said. If not done effectively the actions of requesting and promises can lead to breakdowns and even cost implications.

Making Promises

The result of all these promises is a network of commitments. If the promises are not met the organisation’s performance is bound to suffer. Leaders cannot afford to work with people who are uncooperative, unreliable and untrustworthy.  These attitudes often arise from dominant moods and poorly judged emotional reactions.  We cannot escape from them but we can learn to manage them. Indeed, what we pay attention to and listen for is greatly influenced by the mood we find ourselves in. Leaders have to masters at managing mood – their own and other people’s. The way to energise and motivate colleagues is to harness and direct positive emotions and a mood of gratitude.

Quality relationships

The cognitive biologist Humberto Maturana refers to emotions as “relational behaviours” because emotions determine the language we choose and the way we converse.  It seems that conversational competence plays a major role in achieving excellent performance and productivity. It is created when human beings are in a relationship with each other.  It’s more than just words.  The whole body is involved in shaping our sense of wellbeing and quality of living. There is the sensing of achievement and enjoyment. The ability to get things done depends on the intimacy of the relationships between stakeholders, supporters, customers, and producers who care for each. The leader relies on the quality of these relationships and conversations to deliver on the commitments made to each other.

Background

The field known as the Ontology of the Human Observer provides a discipline for linking conversational efficiency and constructive relationships. Initially developed by  Fernando Flores and extended by Rafael Echeverria  and Julio Olalla, the thinking is supported by research into living systems undertaken by Humberto Maturana and Franscico Varela.  Lessons are drawn from the writings of notable philosophers such as Frederich Nietszche, Martin Heidegger, Hans Georg Gadamer, John Austin, John Searle and Ludwig Wittgenstein, as well as the theorist Chris Agyris. A new paradigm with immediate practical implications that gave rise to Ontological Coaching, the most effective approach for developing leaders.