LOVE

Why do we care about the consequences of our action? Is it that we have ethical concerns about honesty and self-respect? Research evidence from the work of Cognitive Biologist, Humberto Maturana suggests that love is biological, a body disposition and a state of our nervous system.  A pioneer in the ontology of living systems, he observed that . . .

“love is the radical acceptance of the other – as a legitimate other – in coexistence with me.”

Fear and the lack of trust is disturbing the flow of our life, so we look for connections and conversations to help us be ourselves and be liked by others. Facebook feeds off this basic human need to feel love.  Neuroscience is now telling us that the thinking and emotional parts of our brain are intimately connected. If we see able to “be” together, “be” trustworthy in our dealings with each other, and “be” ourselves we “be” more human in our relationships. The love comes from “feeling” welcomed and valued, “feeling” safe and reassured, “feeling” content and lighthearted, and “feeling ” grateful for the company and appreciation of others.

This may seem an ideological understanding of human beings, but you know in your heart that it’s what you yearn for.

“Love allows the space for someone to be beside you” Francesco Varela

When a loved one suffers from dementia, a child is hurt or your partner has had a bad day at work, what they need is sanctury, a refuge where they can be accepted and get the reassurance to regain their emotional stability. We know from our experience how fear and danger can have a detrimental effect on our decision-making and relationships. A loving mind state manifests itself as gratitude, trust, compassion, empathy, acceptance, care, respect, kindness, affection, intimacy, etc. Acceptance creates space for exploring possibilities, sharing our thoughts and feelings and considering how the stress of uncertainty can be addressed.

“Love expands intelligence and enables creativity” Humberto Maturana

Love is the fundamental emotion that allows human social life to happen, generating a desire to cooperate. It enables families and communities to exist. Love is what we search for and take action to get. We enjoy caring for others and want to collaborate with those who care about what we care about. It is fundamental to our conserving tendency. It allows us to feel a sense of belonging, protected, welcomed, comforted, appreciated and reassured. It brings contentment, optimism, health, light-heartedness and respect for simple pleasures.