Observing your Realisations
PRACTICE GUIDE – Presencing
What is a Realisation?
You have an innate capacity for realisation and insight. It’s a new thought that brings your understanding of something into alignment with what you believe to be true or appropriate to the context you find yourself in. An example would be gravity. Realisations can come automatically over time, without conscious thought. When you learned to stand up on two feet you developed an unconscious awareness of gravity, whilst not being able to describe it.
Humberto Maturana refers to this process as “structural coupling”, where your nervous system learns to link you and your environment in a coherent and meaningful way to serve your intentions. You learn the implications of gravity on your body when you fall over. You then gain numerous realisations and insights into the consequences of gravity on the way you live your life. It’s an innate capacity you have as a human being that you learn for yourself.
Your capacity to observe and use these realisations and insights will greatly enhance the results you can get. A fresh new perception can arrive at any time, from beyond your existing reality, yet serves to expand it. You are constantly generating and discovering a new reality to live in. You just need to know how to use curiosity and risk to stimulate it.
So What does this mean?
A distinction has to be made here between your habitual reaction and a new response. This new response can be felt in the body as a richer sensation of reality. You are feeling a sense of possibility in your assessment of what is happening at any moment that feels different. You are aware of the contrast and your ability to pay attention to what is happening in your body when normally it would beneath your awareness.
It’s a powerful observation when you can separate what is held to be you (your identity and ego) and what is actually happening at the moment (your inner voice and feelings). Suddenly you become aware that your way of seeing is not revealing the whole of reality. There is a bigger reality at play with new perspectives to discover, appreciate and consider. You are testing your usual interpretations and assumptions to make new distinctions. It is out of this realisation that alternative possibilities come into your mind that can then be explored. This can move you to more effective action and better results.
Now What?
You should have the realisation that you don’t have a body, you are your body. You have the innate capacity to make significant shifts in your posture that can stimulate your nervous system to be more curious and change your whole “way of being” when in different contexts and performing different roles. You are creating new connections and new patterns of thinking and behaviour. You naturally become more present and observant when you focus more of your attention on your body sensations and how they relate to your concerns and needs.
Practice
1. What changes could you make to focus your attention on your body sensations and feelings happening moment-to-moment?
2. What can you practice in the normal flow of daily life to listen to your body as a way of taking care of your concerns, as well as breakdowns in your relationship with others?
3. Reflect on a previous experience that caused you to expand your view or understanding of something. What did you notice was going on in your body and the thoughts rushing through your mind as a result? What new distinctions are you making? Perhaps the solution to a long-standing problem slipped into your head. Maybe it was a thought to speak to someone to share your ideas or alert you to something that you hadn’t thought of.
4. Next time you are in a conversation, take a moment to centre yourself and get into the present moment. Then ask yourself:
- Notice your body posture?
- How are you feeling inside?
- Now change to a more expanded and relaxed posture.
Do things look and feel different now? Have you found a more resourceful Way of Being?
References
Presence-Based Coaching by Doug Silsbee. Jossey-Bass 2008
Results by Jamie Smart. Capstone 2016
Embodied Leadership by Pete Hamill. Kogan Page 2013
Thinking Tools
– Noticing what’s happening and sensing what could be hidden from you.
THE CDE MODEL
– Identifying the conditions and rules that produce different patterns of interaction
THE OAR MODEL
– Improving your observation skills to choose actions to will deliver what you care about.
THE SCARF MODEL
– Identifying the core concerns that shape your emotional responses
ONTOLOGICAL LEARNING
– Understanding how to change your Way of Being
THE PSYCHIC SYSTEM
– Knowing how to change your Way of Being to fit the prevailing context
ONTOLOGICAL BREAKDOWNS
– Dealing with disruptions in the flow of your life
THE NERVOUS SYSTEM
– How you give meaning to to your experience of internal senses and external events.
QUADRANTS OF CHANGE
– Achieving a more holistic and balanced response to complex situations.
ACTION LOGICS
– Assessing leadership behaviour and effectiveness in different contexts
THE U PROCESS
– Using your senses to improve your effectiveness now to shape your future.
SPIRAL DYNAMICS
– Explaining the growth of human capacity and values
THE HEROES JOURNEY
– Finding a bigger purpose and passion to lead your life from.
ACTIVE LISTENING
– Knowing how to actively listen for understanding and empathy
REFRAMING
– Looking for possibilities to question and reshape perspectives.
THE OODA LOOP
– Achieving a bigger impact when working with other people
ADAPTIVE ACTION
– Examining the dynamic patterns of thought involved in decision making
THE LENS OF INQUIRY
Using the power of questions to get breakthrough results.
THE NINE PANES MODEL
– Discovering new perspecives when dealing with breakdowns in the flow of life.
THE JOHARI WINDOW
– Identifying alternatives to unseen or disruptive behaviour
THE FOUR TRUTHS
– Recognising and considering alternative perspectives in any situation
THE CIRCLE OF CONTROL, INFLUENCE & CONCERN
– Clarifying how you interpret what you see, hear and feel.
THE MIRACLE QUESTION
– In your ideal world, what do you want to be feeligs, thinking and doing?
A “BOTH/AND” PERSPECTIVE
– Dealing with paradox and ambiguity.
THE ADAPTIVE CYCLES
– Resisting breakdown and maintaining your viability for a breakthrough.
CREATING A WELL-FORMED OUTCOME
– Reducing the chance of facing unintended consequences.
WAY OF BEING
– Connecting words, emotions and body presence to be more effective.
CYNEFIN
– A sensemaking framework to help you crack different types of problems.
YOUR INNATE WISDOM
– Knowing what makes you who you are and using it to lead a more fulfilling life.
A SOLUTION FOCUS
– Finding out what works and doing more of it.