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Observing Your Observer

PRACTICE GUIDE – Inner Director

What is an observer?

We all use internal processes to interpret sensory information that comes to our attention. Action follows intention. Change the way you see your intention and your action changes. If you see your observer as your Inner Direct assessing the inside-out, sensory-driven experiences that influence how you act and react. Whatever you conclude about observations that come from the outside-in, are contaminated by your history and culture. You were trained and programmed to see the world you see.  It’s not your reality, it was given to you. As you grow older it becomes a limited view of life in a fear-based world.

When you observe yourself with compassion you stop judging yourself, seeing and feeling whatever arises. It stops you getting trapped in a non-ending cycle of action and reaction. When you stop to observe your feelings and actions before you react you come to know yourself better.

These observer skills have an inside-out and outside-in dimension to them. You are training yourself to be more self-aware of your internal experience and behaviour. You also become sensitised to what is happening in the external world as other people’s values, cares and truths coming from the outside-in have an impact on your assessments.

So What does this mean?

You are constantly watching, assessing and shifting what you choose to practice.  This is not unlike the role a director plays in the making of a movie. Your Inner Director plays the same role in the making of your life movie. Directors make distinctions, observing what is missing and what needs to be added to an action to make a difference.

Your Inner Director engages in four main types of observation.

Not noticing – a limitation on  your ability to see possibilities for change

Self-awareness – making distinctions and describing how you are seeing and feeling them

Unconscious competence – paying attention to distinctions without being aware of them

Observing energy producers – in yourself (your needs and intentions) and others (their needs and intentions)

It is your Inner Director that focuses your attention, identifies what act would be of value to you in serving your intentions to fit in with the intentions of others and see the potential for possible breakdowns as actions are taken.

Now What?

Reflect on what you care about and any concerns you have about how you are behaving at the moment.

  • The distinctions you are making to address your concerns and take care of what others care about
  • The observations your opinions, assessments or judgements are based on
  • The assessments you make about the possibility of positive change, that could meet expectations
  • The new habits that would have to be learned to improve your inner Director’s effectiveness
  • The actions or events that might prevent you the observer from getting the result you want.

Practices

Watch the TED Talk by Isaac Lidsky.

1. What do you notice about his body posture, language patters, gestures, voice qualities and mood state? 

2. What do you notice about his tone of voice and intonation, his use of pauses and humour to connect with his audience?

3. What trigger does he use to shift your attitude and mood state to pay attention to care about what he cares about?

4. What are his stated values, the rules, attitudes and assumptions he lives by?

5. What distinctions does he make to lead you to the conclusions he wants you to make?

6. What sensory language does he use most?  i.e. “seeing”, “hearing” and “feeling” words and metaphors?

  • Make a note of your observations and look for them in your own behaviour next time you have to make a presentation.
  • Test it in front of a mirror to observe the physical patterns and with a friend to get feedback on your impact.

Further Reading

The Innovators Way by Peter Denning and Bob Dunham. MIT 2010

A Brief Theory of Everything by Ken Wilber. Shambhala 1996

Coaching with the Brain in Mind by David Rock and Linda Page.  Willey 2009

 

Thinking Tools

THE HUMAN OBSERVER
– Noticing what’s happening and sensing what could be hidden from you.
THE CDE MODEL
– Identifying the conditions and rules that produce different patterns of interaction
THE OAR MODEL
– Improving your observation skills to choose actions to will deliver what you care about.
THE SCARF MODEL
– Identifying the core concerns that shape your emotional responses
ONTOLOGICAL LEARNING
– Understanding how to change your Way of Being
THE PSYCHIC SYSTEM
– Knowing how to change your Way of Being to fit the prevailing context
ONTOLOGICAL BREAKDOWNS
– Dealing with disruptions in the flow of your life
THE NERVOUS SYSTEM
– How you give meaning to to your experience of internal senses and external events.
QUADRANTS OF CHANGE
– Achieving a more holistic and balanced response to complex situations.
ACTION LOGICS
– Assessing leadership behaviour and effectiveness in different contexts
THE U PROCESS
– Using your senses to improve your effectiveness now to shape your future.
SPIRAL DYNAMICS
– Explaining the growth of human capacity and values
THE HEROES JOURNEY
– Finding a bigger purpose and passion to lead your life from.
ACTIVE LISTENING
– Knowing how to actively listen for understanding and empathy
REFRAMING
– Looking for possibilities to question and reshape perspectives.
THE OODA LOOP
– Achieving a bigger impact when working with other people
ADAPTIVE ACTION
– Examining the dynamic patterns of thought involved in decision making
THE LENS OF INQUIRY
Using the power of questions to get breakthrough results.
THE NINE PANES MODEL
– Discovering new perspecives when dealing with breakdowns in the flow of life.
THE JOHARI WINDOW
– Identifying alternatives to unseen or disruptive behaviour
THE FOUR TRUTHS
– Recognising and considering alternative perspectives in any situation
THE CIRCLE OF CONTROL, INFLUENCE & CONCERN
– Clarifying how you interpret what you see, hear and feel.
THE MIRACLE QUESTION
– In your ideal world, what do you want to be feeligs, thinking and doing?
A “BOTH/AND” PERSPECTIVE
– Dealing with paradox and ambiguity.
THE ADAPTIVE CYCLES
– Resisting breakdown and maintaining your viability for a breakthrough.
CREATING A WELL-FORMED OUTCOME
– Reducing the chance of facing unintended consequences.
WAY OF BEING
– Connecting words, emotions and body presence to be more effective.
CYNEFIN
– A sensemaking framework to help you crack different types of problems.
YOUR INNATE WISDOM
– Knowing what makes you who you are and using it to lead a more fulfilling life.
A SOLUTION FOCUS
– Finding out what works and doing more of it.