Finding Clarity

PRACTICE GUIDE – Embracing Uncertainty

What is Clarity?

We think of clarity as a quality of our thinking and action. We ask ourselves, does something make sense, is it simple to grasp or does it offer transparency and certainty. It is a state of mind or way of being that brings clarity to what we think, feel and do. There is growing evidence from mindfulness research that we have more clarity when we have less on our mind. We are naturally creative when in the normal flow of life, experiencing a mindstate of well-being and stillness.

In this video, Christina Bengtsson talks about quietening the mind to get clarity and focus.

It is well known that we perform better at work or on the sports ground when our mind is clear and the flow of energy is not being interfered with by lots of competing worries, impossible deadlines, depressive moods or body pain.

So What does this mean?

When our mind isn’t burdened with unhelpful thoughts we thrive.  A peaceful mood predisposes us to make calm and reasoned choices from fresh thinking. We can tap into our innate wisdom and resourcefulness and our actions get the results we want. The insights come from our own experience.

“We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.”   Galileo Galilei

The diagram below is designed to show how we lose clarity of thought and purpose when life leads us and we just go where our feelings and thoughts take us. Life changes when we take responsibility for our thoughts and feelings, realising that they are not who are, they are assumptions and perceptions created by the mind. A Life Leader mindset does not see the world the same way as a “life follower”.

Based on the insights and observations of Jamie Smart a Clarity Coach.

When life takes us over and we feel bad, we are dealing with a feeling generated by a bad thought. When we realise it’s just a thought we can take responsibility for it and choose to lead our life from good thoughts. Our sense of well-being is influenced by our thoughts and the language we use to make sense of them. If we accept unhelpful thoughts we are confirming their power to lead us as we are not leading them.

If the trigger for these feelings is coming from outside us then we are outsourcing our well-being and happiness to others. If we act as if we are a leader, then we will practice being a leader. To give an authentic performance an actor displays the emotions that are projected into our minds and we search for the thoughts that would generate those feelings in ourselves.  This is how movies stimulate our imagination and memories. We feel at one with the lead actor as if we were them. This is how we come to understand ourselves. It’s our need to connect.

Actress Thandi Newton talks about how our humanity goes deeper than “self”. When we struggle for the identity we lose our essence of being human and how we connect through the oneness of mind.  We need to look beyond our thoughts and feelings to find who we really are.  It’s our thinking that contaminates our mind. We fail to differentiate “what is me” and “what is not me”.  Our culture and immune system are operating the same way. They stop us getting infected by perceived threats, be they germs or ideas.  When this happens to our identity the  “self” feels threatened and our emotions kick in the protect us. But this is an illusion as our feelings are generated by thoughts, not by who we really are as a human being that strives for connection and security. Listen to Thandi’s story.

Now what?

Let me share a personal story. In 1968-69 I worked as a volunteer teacher in the Solomon Islands. I was told that on the Island of Malaita, where I was to be based, practised cannibalism. When I arrived the people struck me as genuinely happy, stable and self-assured. They were generous, warm and insightful. They had genuine respect, caring for each other’s children and their elders with great compassion. The clarity was borne of a depth of innate wisdom, mental health, and gratitude for each other and their environment.  They had an answer for every human condition that had served them well for hundreds of years.

My anxieties and fears melted as I felt connected at a human level and my initial worries waned as my thoughts slowed down on realising I had been the victim of my thoughts and feelings. I gained many insights into how human beings can connect and relate when their minds are at peace. It took a while for me to notice that my thoughts were being generated by my feelings, not from my direct experiences. I became a different person, appreciating the fundamental nature of human beings when released from their addictions, fears, and insecurities.

“Learning is discovering that something is possible.”  Fritz Perls

Paradoxically, I went to the Solomons to teach and share my intellect and knowledge, yet I learned so much more about myself and what’s important when we lead by teaching. I learned that the biggest enemy of change is the assumption that reality is “out there” when it only exists in our thoughts. I went on to university with a different perspective on success and satisfaction meant for me.

Practices

1.  What do you do to bring about a “flow state” that calms and quietens your thoughts because you are “in-the-moment”?

2. When you feel yourself getting overloaded, anxious or stuck, how could you trigger your mind to STOP

Step back – to avoid acting without thinking

Take stock – pause to think what your best self would do

Options considered – focus on what you could do that will get the result you want

Proceed – choosing an action that serves your best intention.

Consider a situation that went out of control where you said or did something you regretted. How could you have reacted better if you paused to think before you acted?

3.  Reflect on some key events or concerns you had over the past week or so and make a list of the feelings you experienced at the time and the thoughts you believe were generating them.

1. Where did these thoughts come from?  A lack of confidence, security, worthiness, gratitude?
2. Why do you dwell on them if you could just focus your mind
3. on more positive thoughts?
4. Where are you and what are you doing when your mind gets free of thoughts?
5. How do you push through and act confidently when you don’t feel confident?

4.  Consider a situation or series of events where you feel stuck and lack the energy to reframe your thoughts to act differently.

1. How are you contaminating your thinking?  Fear of rejection, revealing imperfections, loss of certainty?
2. How do you gain clarity?  Reveal your imperfections, embrace uncertainty, accept rejection?
3. What can you do to stay in the moment, be yourself and stop your thoughts wandering?
4. How do you access your inner resources to understand that your thoughts are not you, that you are OK, and cannot be damaged by anything in the outside world?

References

Wisdom Within by Roger Mills and Elsie Spittle.Lone Pine 2001

Clarity by Jamie Smart.  Capstone 2013

The Inside-Out Revolution by Michael Neill.  Hay House 2013