LIFE LEADERSHIP DOMAINS

MOOD MANAGERS
– Facing Facts
– Exploring Possibilities
– Embracing Uncertainty
– Seeking Growth

REALITY CREATORS
– Emotioning
– Presencing
– Relating
– Languaging

MOVIE MAKERS
– Inner Producer
– Inner Director
– Inner Scriptwriter
– Inner Actor

ENERGY PRODUCERS
– Inside-Out Energy
– Outside-In Energy
– Top-Down Energy
– Bottom-Up Energy

Learn how to observe your authentic presence, your true self and clarify what’s important for your life and work.

You are the author of your life story and the producer, director, scriptwriter and actor of your life movie. If your life is to work for you, you have to understand what makes you tick as a human being. It is your Way of Being that produces your thoughts – the way you talk, relate, emote and use your body.  They are your “Reality Creators”. 

“Your first responsibility as a leader is to define your reality”   – Max Dupree

What is Inside-Out Energy?

The energy that comes from your assertions of what you believe is true for you. This truth belongs to you. It is based on the personal beliefs or convictions, observations, perspectives, or opinions you hold as your lens for seeing and understanding yourself, others and the world you live in. This energy also comes from the worldview or reality you have generated that is “hardwired” in your nervous system.  It is reflected in your way of being, personal competence, and achievements.  What Kevin Cashman. Karen and Henry Kinney-House refer to it as your “leader from within”.  Ken Wilber refers to it as the “I Quadrant”. It fits with the Orange vMeme thinking developed by Clare Graves, where the thinking is somewhat selfish, future-focused and demands personal improvement, with status and wealth being the prime motivators. But it is unique to you and will reflect your individual way of being – physically, emotionally and linguistically.

“If you want to lead, know what you are doing with your energy.”  – Lao Tzu

Our physical body holds the structure of our being from our nervous system to our postures and gestures. It frames our mood and emotional state which predisposes us to think and act in certain ways. Poor posture can be the reason for a negative mood state. Our physical being responds to the environment it finds itself in and the language we choose to give in meaning to the thoughts that produce our feelings, aspirations, and concerns. Our energy level can have a major influence on our way of being in any situation. What thoughts lie behind your interpretation of what the following statements mean to you?

• Do you know what drives you to be the person you are?
• Do you know what your strengths and weaknesses are?
• Do you know your personality traits and learning preferences?
• Are you aware of your demons and how they impact your performance?

Reality is the movie you live in

To be an effective leader of your life you must know yourself inside-out and be living a story of your own creation, one that’s really important to you. It has to be owned, cared about and driven by your deepest intentions. Watch this video by Chanti Burns to understand how the power of thought creates your reality. It is your inner Producer that provides the strength of desire and mood needed to support the actions your inner Director is looking for, to focus on what you want to achieve through your actions. Your inner Scriptwriter gives coherence and meaning to these chosen actions.  The leader is mindful of what their Inner Actor wants to do and how they can experience it in their life movie.

Generating new worlds from new thinking

This energy source focuses on competence. We use our mind, consciousness and thought to gain clarity of intention and contribute to causes bigger than ourselves We offer our knowledge, skills, and experience to collaborate and lead others to bring order to an unpredictable world. This idea draws from the discipline of Human Ontology, which explains how we generate new worlds in our heads, by seeing reality from the inside out.

This thinking is beginning to have a major impact on leadership practice. It offers hope in a world where people have accepted “reality” as coming to themselves, from their own truth, not a universal truth. The outside-in view of reality is proving to be an illusion because it limits innovative thought and action. We cannot “know” anything outside of our inner experience and meaning-making abilities.  Evolution may be an accepted scientific fact for some but is seen as an illusion and denied by Creationists.

THOUGHT   >   FEELING   >   BEHAVIOUR   >  PERFORMANCE

We cannot “know” anything outside of our own interpretation of our thinking.  It shapes what we believe, see, feel, and act on. Based on a shared culture and history you may agree on what “IT” is and see what “IT” means, but it is shaped by your physiology and personal experience of what it means to “ME”.  The knowing comes through your senses but is modeled by the way your mind and body interpret and hold on to previous experiences. They get “hardwired” or embedded in our nerve cells and neural pathways. So much of what we think is intuitive and “structurally determined”. Whilst it remains transparent to us, it will continue to control the story of our life unless we learn how to create our own life movie and understand how thoughts are our Inner Director.

“It may seem we know the outer world as it is, but this is not the case. We only know how we experience is based on our physical interactions with it and our structure at the time.”  – Chris Chittenden

Our senses are observing what our brain is interpreting and what our mind makes sense of. This is dependent on how much knowledge we have and therefore the number of distinctions we can make. It is our thoughts that give “IT” and “US” their value. It tells us how we should react and feel about things.  Eventually, the penny drops. It is just thoughts and feelings produced in our own minds that are creating how we see things. Our reality is not “out there” it is an illusion, as it is our perception and interpretation of the bits of the world that we are aware of and can make sense of.  It does not exist until we have chosen to pay to select the unconscious or conscious thoughts that our mind is generating.

Your powerful observer

The power of our observations helps us assess and evaluate what we are seeing and feeling and to use our cognitive skills to question the constraints placed on us by our thinking habits and ungrounded assessments. We can learn how to tap into our innate wisdom. It is the innate thinking powers of the human mind that allow us to question the world “out there” and assert our mastery over it.

This is an ontological perspective that reminds us that we experience the world through our body senses, emotions and language abilities. Evidence for this view is growing within the neurological and cognitive sciences. For example, the work of Humberto Maturana and Francisco Varela on the role of the nervous system in human observation has revealed just how much of who we are is automatic and created beyond our conscious awareness.

Over time what we ‘”do” shapes what we have come to  “know” which has gradually structured our “way of being”.  Awareness of this process allows us to see how we interpret and embed our moment-to-moment experiences and turn conscious awareness into unconscious competence. But is it working for you? If it isn’t, how can you change when you see it as a threat to your identity? The autopoietic nature of your nervous system makes this difficult because the body and mind both seek to reject anything that is perceived by your nervous system as “not you” – your genes or your memes.

How things work

We are driven most by experiences that make sense to us. By copying what we observe we can model another person’s body movements, breathing, speech and other patterns to recreate and renew our own life skills. In the culture of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, it makes sense to manage and control your thinking. Observing the Ontology of the Human Soul takes a slightly different view, in that the mind has a “default position” or “authentic presence” from which we get an insightful understanding. It offers us clarity and peace of mind when we are deeply engaged and present in the moment. In this “meditative” state the mind is self-correcting. We become unconsciously competent. When we try and think about what we are doing we lose the flow of being in the moment – yet at the same time, we discover our clarity, resilience, and well-being as a natural way of being.

Embracing inside-out change

Uncertainty makes us feel vulnerable. As a result, we barricade ourselves in our comfort zone where we feel safe. When we do not know what is going to happen we tend to freeze at the very thought of any psychological pain and so remain stuck in our small world of anxiety and negativity.  We lose perspective as life passes us by, only because we cannot let go and allow ourselves the space to move forward. Anxiety is a felt sense as it has an impact on the whole body.

We are challenged to find the willpower to escape the pull of emotions. But we have to muster enough curiosity and courage to cultivate enough gratitude and joy from just being conscious of our emotions and accepting any discomfort that anxiety from any uncertainty might bring. All said and done, uncertainty is the price we pay for being alive and having free will. Value the awareness it brings and not wish it away without acknowledging its purpose. By its very nature, life is always going to feel unpredictable and unfair. Accept but do not hold on to feelings. We need to learn how to love uncertainty and see it as a vehicle for curiosity and personal growth. 

To feel alive we must wonder at the diversity of life’s experiences and see the pain as a test of our humanness. Through our mistakes and failures, we can take responsibility for how we feel about what happens to us and be alert to the many “toxic” thoughts and “breakdowns” that can stop us from finding out what self-realisation, self-worth, and self-confidence really feel like.

Know yourself well

See yourself as a “Learning Lab”. We all have the ability to bring our inner resources to bear on a new situation as it arises so we can “come alive” at that moment and pay attention to our concerns. We recruit our ‘actor-body’, our ‘observer-director’, our ‘energy-producer’, and our ‘creator-scriptwriter’ to energise our unique set of innate thinking skills. We can learn what is really important to us by tapping into different parts of ourselves that are being energised as a result of our interactions with others when they offer us different perspectives to think from.

“The ability to perceive or think differently is more important than the knowledge gained.”  – David Bohm

We must pay close attention to discovering the thoughts that are behind our concerns and needs.  Does the thinking still make sense to you or does lack the logic you originally thought it had? This is not selfish behaviour because unless you take responsibility for your own welfare or you will be unable to take responsibility for the welfare of others. For example, being aware of how stress impacts your whole Way of Being enables you to spot and address low-level “breakdowns” as soon as they appear.  Observe what is happening in your own body and discover what adjustments to make to keep you centred.

You will know where the boundaries of trust are. Stick with them and stay alert for what emerges in your thoughts and feeling. You will then:

• know when to ask for help
• see your feelings as feedback
• know how far you can go to challenge and avoid serious conflict
• when to share your concerns
• show vulnerability and
• when to take time out for reflection.

Moods shape your relationships

Managing your inside-out energy is about your relationship with a given situation and will be reflected in your mood, attitude, disposition or outlook on life. It can be a feeling or an emotion that if it persists becomes a mood. If you are curious and open-minded it is difficult to act as if you are angry. If you are consumed by resentment you will find it easier to get angry and engage in negative rants. A mood state is how you would describe the way someone was being, as it influences other aspects of their Way of Being.  It influences how you see and relate to the world “out there” and how you open and close your mind and body to new possibilities.

Your mood state can be a critical factor in how others relate to you. What you do and what you say. Unless you have ambition you will not generate the passion or energy that your Inner Producer needs to move your life or career forward.

If you stay positive you will see every problem or mistake as an opportunity for learning and growth. This Way of Being is infectious as it will help you help others see that change is possible. This is a powerful mood to have as a Leader for Life. Moods happen in the body, so by changing your body posture, it is possible to shift your mood. Try and be angry whilst retaining a happy face and using kind words. It’s almost impossible.

On this website, you will find tools to help you learn how to observe moods and affect them in a positive way, both your own and other people’s. Just getting the words right is not enough if your body is not communicating the same message. You will become a more powerful observer of a person’s Way of Being. You will also see how your actions will not come across as authentic if the words, mood state, and body posture don’t fit together.

Your perceptions are structurally determined

One of the underpinnings of the ontological approach to observation is the work of Cognitive Biologist Humberto Maturana. His research demonstrated how you perceive your environment and respond to it is determined by the observer’s biological structure. Read the article on Human Ontology. 

The brain’s structure frames how you deal with the daily issues of living, leading and learning. Your cognition or the way you observe is limited to the way you live in the world and how this influences what you see and act on. If you are not aware of a particular interpretation or distinction it is not available to aid your thinking. Such is the importance of language, that without it, you would not be able to make sense of what you were thinking, observing or even coordinating your actions with others. This way of observing shapes your Way of Being which in turn determines your capacity to get things done. This is where your ability to lead comes from. To lead more effectively you have to be able to observe more effectively by developing your senses and using your ontology.

Shifting the patterns

Your cognitive abilities are not fixed they are continually evolving and changing through learning. This makes Ontological Learning a critical aspect of leadership and coaching. What you are doing is changing the structural connections in your mental maps of reality as you experience it (in the past) and can imagine it (in the future). The pattern of thinking is changed in the present moment as you combine your assertions and declarations.

Diagram courtesy of Chris Chittenden at Talking About Pty Ltd

To shift your Way of Being you must first be able to notice what isn’t working for you. This may involve challenging your assertions and assumptions from the past. You do this by sensitising yourself to your moods, language patterns, feelings, body sensations, gestures and postures that have a history of bringing you to the assessments you are making in the present moment. They will raise your awareness of what is happening inside you and how it might be perceived by others. It’s about you becoming alive and conscious of what is producing your current way of being – words, feelings and body posture.

The skill here is to adopt practices that move you out of your head and into your body. When things stop working for you, you notice them first in your body. You feel heavy, concerned, tired, anxious, tense, resentful, fuzzy, etc. It’s where your unconscious thoughts gain credence. If you do not connect with those feelings you will not find the thoughts that are generating them.

Addressing those human concerns

Our “core concerns” and feelings reveal what is important to us. We have a basic need to take care of our core concerns. If not, they eat away at us and we cannot find peace. We either move away from what we perceive to be a threat to our sense of self or we move towards the opportunities that we believe will enhance our sense of wellbeing. The emotions we experience in our daily lives are often habitual reactions to our deepest concerns. The diagram below summarises five major types of concern.

In defining these core concerns, we are guided by an ontological interpretation of David Rock’s SCARF model (above) that defines five core concerns – Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness. You can read more about David Rock’s ideas of the SCARF Model by clicking here.

Concerns about status

Status speaks to how important we think we are compared to others. It can be seen in terms of the value we believe others see us, and how we would like others to see us. In other words, we are asking ourselves a question about the ‘value’ or ‘position’ others place on us, comparing it and judging our own perceived ‘position’ and sense of ‘value’. We can do that by observing the impact we have on others and judging it from that. We might look at what we own or control and compare that with others.

Comparing ourselves to others can have adverse effects. It can show up as us wanting to “win” where winning is everything. Unfortunately, where there are winners there are also losers. Taken too far, the impact on relationships can be negative and dramatic.

Another, and perhaps a more constructive, way of looking at status, lies in establishing our own value. Set goals that we feel create value for ourselves, benefit others and help us achieve them together. It is hard not to compare ourselves to others as it starts at a very early age. We see ourselves in a “pecking order” in families, peer groups, school classes, etc.  But when we do, rather than perceiving ourselves as a winner or losers, we might notice what others are doing and seek to learn from them. In doing so, we may well become more valuable in our relationships.

Concerns about certainty

The future for any of us is inherently uncertain.  It is a fact of life that we should embrace if we want to avoid anxiety. We may rant against it, but the future will always be unpredictable to varying degrees. There is a high probability that you will wake up in the morning, but if you don’t you won’t be around to see it. We use scientific methods to predict, with as much certainty as we can realistically expect, but there are always factors that emerge that we could not have anticipated.

“There is no such uncertainty as a sure thing.”   Robert Burns

When we seek certainty, we are looking to control, to know that when we do X we will get Y.  The law of cause and effect. But the idea that we can control others is a nice idea, but the more we push for control the more others are likely to push back. Despite all the effort that we put into trying to generate certainty, it can often remain elusive. When we sense a loss of control we get anxious and believe the worst could happen. Life is never going to be as perfect as we wanted it to be. A mood of resentment or resignation can then take over and we get stuck in the emotions of our own thoughts.

It can be helpful to make grounded assessments of the facts we are facing in our current situation, explore all practical possibilities and embrace the uncertainty they may bring. We are then more likely to obtain a more balanced view of how our knowledge and assumptions of the past shape our view of the future. We have then to make a distinction between trying to control the future and guiding ourselves through the future as it emerges in the present. By accepting uncertainty we can step into the future with confidence, in the expectation that the unknown is the source of abundant opportunities, not just threats. We will always have to deal with the unexpected so we should seek growth and build our self-confidence and resilience in order to deal with the consequences.

References

The Inside Out Revolution by Michael Neill. Hay House 2013
The Leadership Dojo by Richard Strozzi-Heckler. Frog Books 2007
Coaching to the Human Soul (Vol:2) by Alan Sieler. Newfield 2007
Shifting the Pattern by If Price & Ray Shaw. Management Books 1998
Synchronicity by Joseph Jaworski. Berrett-Koehler 1996
Co-Active Coaching by Karen & Henry Kinney-House. Nicholas Brealey 2011
The Art of Living Consciously by Nathaniel Branden. Fireside 1997
A Way of Being by Carl Rogers. Houghton-Mifflin 1980
Leadership from the Inside Out by Kevin Cashman. Executive Excellence 1998
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nataniel Branden. Bantam 1995
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey. Simon & Schuster 1990
Invisible Power by Ken Manning et al. Insight Principles 2015